Day 3 of the Week of Empowerment: You Are Not Your Story

We hear it all the time. Everybody has a story and it’s true. Everybody does have a story. But what we must realize is that we are not our stories. We are not the things that happen to us or around us. In yesterday’s interview, Monique Moliere Piper talked about this.  For most of her childhood, she grew up in poverty in the middle of a dangerous and violent neighborhood and those dangers touched her family and caused injury and pain. But Monique said “Where I am is NOT who I am.”

Just because the voices around us or more importantly inside of us seem to say that we are in our circumstances because of who we are doesn’t make it true.  Yes it can be hard to separate ourselves from our stories or circumstances.  If we tell ourselves that we were rejected because we are unlovable or incapable, then every rejection becomes about our perception of ourselves as unlovable or incapable. Really, that rejection is just a rejection. Maybe it was for a job and someone from within the organization was hired prior to the interview.  Maybe, plans just changed. Maybe it has nothing to do with us.  We are not our stories or the things that happen to or around us. But we may put ourselves in situations because of what we believe about ourselves. We may reinforce the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and then act in ways consistent with those beliefs. We may overeat because we believe we’re an overeater and always will be. We may have been in a relationship with someone who was unreliable or treated us poorly and now believe that’s our lot. We torture ourselves with wild stories consistent with that belief when a new significant other shows up 15 minutes late because of traffic or other legitimate delay. It may have nothing to do with our value to the other person.

In just a minute I’m going to talk some more about how we can change our limiting beliefs and tell ourselves a new story. First I want to take just a minute to offer another kind of value. You may have heard me talk about our sponsor, Audible but what you may not know is that I only partnered with Audible because I’m one of their very happy customers and they promised to offer something valuable to you. I’m very aware that you choose to listen to Rockin’ Life because you trust me to offer some value here and I don’t want to do anything to break that trust. So I will only accept sponsor I believe are consistent with what we’re about. I love listening to audio books while I work around the house or walk, workout or drive around. I get at least one book per month. Audible is offering Rockin Life listeners one free audio book. You just go to That’s a special link for Rockin’ Life listeners – and sign up for a trial membership If you don’t like it don’t forget to cancel it but you still get to keep the free audio book you downloaded. Right now I’m listening to The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. They make it easy just go to  Now, back to our week of empowerment.

We may not be aware of beliefs about ourselves or when they first appeared or how we came to believe them. A couple of days ago, I told you about my limiting beliefs. I knew the my limitations and anxiety in certain situations were connected to a childhood trauma but I didn’t know they were connected to what I told myself – what I believed about myself. I was actually unaware of the story beneath the story for most of my life.  It never even occurred to me to look for my beliefs or to question them.  It took the growing discomfort with my lifelong fear of being trapped that was finding its way in to more and more of my life to push me to examine and question.

It’s amazing how when we shine a light on something, we see it for what it is and it begins to lose its power.  So to change our limiting beliefs the first thing we need to do is be aware of what we’re telling ourselves – the story we’re telling ourselves. Examine that story. Question it. Separate ourselves from it.

Then we can begin to change the habit of responding to the world and experiencing life from a false perspective that limits us.  We can know that we are valuable, capable, lovable and worthy.  We can begin to see other people as other valuable, capable, lovable, and worthy – no better – no worse.  We can separate behavior (both acceptable and unacceptable) from who we are and who the people in our lives are. We can then believe that we are not our circumstances and we’re not doomed to those circumstances nor to repeat past patterns. We are free to form new habits. We can write any story we want.

My hope is that you know your worth and value as a precious child of God. I hope you also know how much I appreciate you showing up and hearing what I and my guests share. If you would like to share your thoughts with me or with all of us, please let me know either in the comments on or in an email to  I’d love to hear from you. And I hope your day is wonderful and that you come back for more tomorrow and bring a friend with you.  Have a great day!

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